Eternal.Darkness

Thursday, November 30, 2006

after a long long long time spent thinking. i've realised one thing. this blog is going to implode. my thoughts are going to destroy this blog, destroy the words, and destroy my head.

so enough. thank you all you loyal readers who have had to endure the torment of reading through my thoughts being spewed out. if any of you are left.

this is the last entry, and i want to end it with a song. but it'll take me a while to find a suitable one.

anyway. my new one (unconfirmed) should be something like

http://longroadforaizat.blogspot.com

or something to that effect.

i'll explain the significance in my first post of the new one.

anyway. i say goodbye to this blog, who has been a most unjudging and and unquestioning listener (i wonder why) as i played my life out for me to remember. but it's time to seal this place up. it will always be here, to serve as a reminder of what could happen should i ever go down this road again. but it will be like a plaque on the wall, untouched and undisturbed.

ladies and gentlemen, i bid you good night

Aizat looked up at 10:39 PM

Saturday, November 11, 2006

hope is a strange little thing. it can mean nothing to some people. it can be everything to others. hope is a view of the future, based on the past and present. hope paints a brighter time to come. hope is all about what you want, what you dream of, what you aspire to. hope can be anything. it can be for material possessions, spiritual perfection, emotional stability, anything at all. hope means you feel good, about what is to come in your life

but hope is a double edged sword. hope is based on intangibility. there is no way at all that you can know for certain what is to come. that is why you hope in the first place; because you don't know what's going to happen. that is what hope is all about - pretending that the future is always better than the present. there is a fine line between hope and obsession. let your hopes and dreams dominate your life, and you will think of nothing else. it will be forever on your mind, forever deciding your thoughts, your actions, your emotions. it will control your future, take over your life, and shape your destiny. that is hope, taken to the extreme. hope, when the person hoping does as much as humanly possible, and even more, to ensure as much as possible that the hope is fulfilled, and that is obsession.

so how can people truly say that hope is good. what good is something that you can be certain of, since that is the entire basis of hope, of hoping for something to happen, something to occur. hope creates a false sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, that you've done everything you can, and that you can only hope that everything turns out the way you want it to. want and will are two completely different things. one is indecision, lack of confidence, unsure of self and everything around. will is a sign of assurance, that something will happen. hope is actually a very destructive part of life. it makes you think that there is a better future, that what is to come is better in some way than what is in existence in the present time.

there's no point in hoping. hoping is about pretending. hoping is about not knowing what will happen, and in fact unsure if what will happen is better or worse at all. hoping will be the downfall of many, because they choose to bank everything on something they can't even be sure of, let alone trust to happen. gambling, betting, are minor pieces of the puzzle. certainly they are less acceptable vices, but nonetheless, they play a lot on the hopes of people, and this is where the trouble lies. even outside of such individual fallicies, communities, nations, the whole world, people all hope for a better, brighter future which is as uncertain as life itself. hope should not be a part of a person's life. it will just lead to his or her failure, making the false hope all too clear

false hope is redundant. hope is already false, by virtue of its uncertainty. false hope just enhances that idea. so again, hope should have no place in a person's life.

there should be no hope in this world. then everyone will be happy.

Aizat looked up at 12:48 AM

Monday, November 06, 2006

i think i can safely say i have lived through one of the best weekends of recent years (in terms of football). chelsea lost (controversially), arsenal lost (controversially and violently), and manchester united are playing brilliant football, at least for the first 10 - 20 minutes of a match, but who cares. it gets the results. it shows that they are capable of grinding out a result should the need arise, not unlike a certain adidas-sponsored team.

so now, the league table says it all.

man utd 28 points
chelsea 25 points

a 3 point gap has opened up, and unlike recent seasons, it is the Red Devils in the lead, playing the best football they've played in years, and with the most reliable defense available since the days of jaap stam. what more could a supporter want? maybe for them to play the same football throughout the 90 minutes, but it's a start, and hopefully they can build on this and continue their run.

tribute to sir alex ferguson, 20 years and stronger than ever.

let's hope it's enough

Aizat looked up at 7:30 PM