Eternal.Darkness

Thursday, December 30, 2004

two days to the new year. two days. somehow that doesn't cause me to feel anything. too many new years have passed. rather. too many uneventful new years have passed. i don't think this one's gonna be any different. i'll probably end up spending most of time in front of the com, as i have been doing for the past... one month??? has it really been that long? time flies when you're having fun. so irritating. and when you actually want to do something that you have to do (like ISO) you find that there's no time left.

these are the thoughts that are running through my head as i type this entry, a deviation from my usual midninght posting. but i'm bored. my whole body is stiff from having been stuck at home, sitting down in more or less the same position for hours on end. but think of the alternative. that's right. there is no alternative. at least, none that i can take advantage of. i know there are plenty of things to do outside my house. but then there's the tiny little barrier called my mother. and there is nothing that i can do to remove this obstacle.

so, in two days time, a new year will begin. every year, there's talk of change that's going to take effect when the new year starts. but just sit down and think. over the past years, how many significant changes have there been that will have a significant effect on our lifestyles? right now i can only think of one, and that is the integrated programmes that are in effect right now. but even that, it only changes how we study, and what we study. it doesn't change how we live, our habits. despite what people say, our lives haven't changed much since we entered in sec 1.

you can make all the new year resolutions you want. no one will stop you. no one will even bother trying to stop you. there's no challenge in that. you can come up with a whole host of resolutions, each grander (and more impossible to achieve) than the last. but the true test will be to put them into effect. you have your resolutions. how about trying to make them a reality. in fact, now that i think about it, this in itself should be a resolution: make my resolutions work.

i would like to acknowledge a blog that i found accidentally: cassandra aka cassie tan. that's where i found the link to get songs and whatever

and now the song that inspire me to change my blog header and title

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps and

I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the border line

Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines of

What's fucked up and everything's alright

Check my vital signs

To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone I walk a...

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone...

Aizat looked up at 9:19 AM